Woe, I say woe unto the mama that breaks up a happy home. Pain and sorrow for the rest of her days to the woman that dares to come between a single mama and her bedraggled, chatty, pooping baby. May she receive a million pouts or more from the five year old she has so dastardly wronged.  Again, woe, I say woe unto the mama that has to throw away the much beloved Baby Alive Real Surprises doll.

Why would I throw away a baby doll such as Patty? Why would I risk a lifetime of emotional damage and countless hours of therapy for our only daughter? One word. Surprises. 
Surprises indeed. She was full of them. Would she talk as advertised? Would she shut up once she did begin talking? Why did she always come to life in the middle of the night like some creepy horror movie? "Hi, Mommy! Let's play!" 
When was she ever going to poop? When was she going to stop pooping? 
And, then came the biggest surprise of all. The fungus among us. Unbeknownst to myself and the Honeyman, Patty wasn't missing any meals. It seems Señorita Sassypants had fed dear Patty unsanctioned foods that never fully um, existed the system.
What soon followed still has me retching. Science experiment worthy specimens were silently growing away inside our dear, sweet, rotten on the inside, Patty. What began as a routine cleaning ended with hurried forever goodbyes and wails of grief, bio-hazmat suits and decontamination chambers. The culmination coming as the garbage bin door slammed on Patty's giggles of, "I love you, Mommy".
The girl seems to be handling the stages of grief as one does. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and cupcakes. We've not achieved acceptance yet. That's okay. We can all use a few more cupcakes in our life.
 

"Beginnings are always messy."  -John Galsworthy


If beginnings are always messy then I'm on the right track. 
As a fairly creative person I find I do my best work under chaotic conditions. Piles of laundry scaling great heights on my bedroom floor while I'm on a bender at the sewing machine. The natives, my perfectly wild wild things, conditioned to scavenge for clean clothing by mining through the heaps. Dishes left in the sink long after I've fallen into bed are often tackled by the Honeyman. God love him. Yet, in the chaos everything has its order and place.
While our house may be unkept and tidy every other day(s), we know where to find the important things that matter most.
When Mr. O, the oldest, feels his love tank is plumb near empty, he comes to me for a fill up of quality time. And, while it's hard for me, a hyper absorbed in task type person, I've learned to put the task aside. There is no greater task than my presence for the child.
Señorita Sassypants loves a good laugh. And, she knows where to find the sillies in all things. Yet another creative soul, she once informed me that the destruction of her bedroom was merely an art installation. She was four. 
She knows where to find the Creator of all things. Not only my creative child, she's my earthy girl, too. Happiest is she with the soles of her feet filthy while searching for roly polies and worms. Ask her what she wants to be when she grows up and it's always a "Pet-in-nary".
And, sweet, sweet baby Señor Fluff-N-Stuff Squishypants helps us to find the wonder and joy in this life the Creator meant for us all. To drink up the small pleasures of the great creation is nothing short of delightful when a toddler's on hand.  Watching with amazement with an upside down, through his own legs view of the world is enough to fill up my love tank and keep me going.
These days are sweet. They're also exhausting, sticky, and trying. Somedays there's heartache. Some there's a heart so full it could burst. These days are also exceedingly short and fleeting as any empty nest mama is quick to point out. 
The days are long, but the years are short, they tell me. So that's why there's a mess, or often, plenty more. We strive to live a slower paced life. We break for pillow forts and never ending card games of War. We get dirty on our hands and knees in search of creepy crawlies for observation. We live a life that I hope they will remember for the love, not for perfection. That's not for me to give them anyhow.