Today's Cat Talk, where we learn all about what family felines are and are not, is brought to you courtesy of my waning sanity.
We've had some rather interesting discussions regarding the roles cats play in our family of late.
On Father's day we became the proud owners of a scared and severely malnourished, ferrel kitten that showed up at our farmhouse. It was during a period of heavy, extended rainfall, and the poor little guy had taken refuge on our porch on some loose straw.
Named Roscoe P. Coltrane, the Sheriff Deputy of Jolly Acres, he joined ranks in our household with our other cat, Scurvy. Scurvy, another rescue cat came to us the year we moved to Texas. He is ten and fluffy. Fluffy as in fat. But, those aren't words I like him to suffer hearing. We don't want to hurt his feelings, now do we?
We've had some rather interesting discussions regarding the roles cats play in our family of late.
On Father's day we became the proud owners of a scared and severely malnourished, ferrel kitten that showed up at our farmhouse. It was during a period of heavy, extended rainfall, and the poor little guy had taken refuge on our porch on some loose straw.
Named Roscoe P. Coltrane, the Sheriff Deputy of Jolly Acres, he joined ranks in our household with our other cat, Scurvy. Scurvy, another rescue cat came to us the year we moved to Texas. He is ten and fluffy. Fluffy as in fat. But, those aren't words I like him to suffer hearing. We don't want to hurt his feelings, now do we?
As a mom there are many, many things I've heard escape my lips over the years that would very well earn me a trip to a quiet, padded room under any other circumstances. But, the cat conversations we've been having of late take the cake. Mama readers, you know what I mean. Right? And, for those that don't know what I mean, let me enlighten you with a few of the more memorable ones from the past few weeks.
*Cats are not hats.
This one is said on a daily, almost hourly basis. Why, fruit of my womb? Why?
I'm at a loss. Why would you think something with ten dangerously sharp dagger toes would make suitable haberdashery? For the love of Pete, I ask again (often) why?
*There are no cat copters.
Yes, I know he has a really long tail. No, it is not used as a whirly roto thingy.
No. Your head is not a landing strip. Get the cat off your head. No. Cats are not hats, either. See above.
*Cats are not projectile objects.
But, I really must know. How in heaven's sweet, melodious name did you manage to pick up Scurvy? He weighs as much as a VW Beetle. Probably going to have to take you in for a chiropractic adjustment now.
*Cats don't like dress up.
Yes, I know he looks cute wearing the bib and diaper. He also looks miffed. Really miffed. Remember, sharp dagger toes.
*Cat's don't like to be worn.
Yes, I know I wore Jack when he was a baby. It's called babywearing. There is no such thing as cat wearing. I don't know, good readers. Is there such a thing as cat wearing? There probably is. I just don't need to know about it. And, my heathen children certainly don't need to know about it.
*Cats are not ride on toys.
We don't ride on cats. There are no cat saddles.
No, cats cannot ride on you. Why? Because no cat saddles.
Well, there's this one. But, it looks to have an owner already. I tried to find who to give credit for this awesome picture, but alas somebody shared it in one of my online sewing groups with no credits. But, kuddos to whoever this belongs to. It is indeed magnificent.
*Cats are not hats.
This one is said on a daily, almost hourly basis. Why, fruit of my womb? Why?
I'm at a loss. Why would you think something with ten dangerously sharp dagger toes would make suitable haberdashery? For the love of Pete, I ask again (often) why?
*There are no cat copters.
Yes, I know he has a really long tail. No, it is not used as a whirly roto thingy.
No. Your head is not a landing strip. Get the cat off your head. No. Cats are not hats, either. See above.
*Cats are not projectile objects.
But, I really must know. How in heaven's sweet, melodious name did you manage to pick up Scurvy? He weighs as much as a VW Beetle. Probably going to have to take you in for a chiropractic adjustment now.
*Cats don't like dress up.
Yes, I know he looks cute wearing the bib and diaper. He also looks miffed. Really miffed. Remember, sharp dagger toes.
*Cat's don't like to be worn.
Yes, I know I wore Jack when he was a baby. It's called babywearing. There is no such thing as cat wearing. I don't know, good readers. Is there such a thing as cat wearing? There probably is. I just don't need to know about it. And, my heathen children certainly don't need to know about it.
*Cats are not ride on toys.
We don't ride on cats. There are no cat saddles.
No, cats cannot ride on you. Why? Because no cat saddles.
Well, there's this one. But, it looks to have an owner already. I tried to find who to give credit for this awesome picture, but alas somebody shared it in one of my online sewing groups with no credits. But, kuddos to whoever this belongs to. It is indeed magnificent.
And, so folks as we conclude our Cat Talk I ask for your grace and prayers should you hear these things come forth from my mouth. I am not insane - yet.
It's really just a matter of time when you have sweet, sweet blessings such as mine.
Y'all pray. Pray real hard.
It's really just a matter of time when you have sweet, sweet blessings such as mine.
Y'all pray. Pray real hard.