Breathe In, Give Grace
Yesterday was hard. It wasn't pretty. It was not Pinterest worthy. It was more like a Pinterest Fail sort of day. And, that's okay. Completely okay.
I even ended the day with a post on Facebook about the kind of day it was. It was an empowering post for me. I acknowledged that the day wasn't stellar. I owned my failings and shortcomings. I included a link to Glennon Melton of Momastary's post Grace is Good Enough for Us, because she sees right to my bones. And, you know what? I felt better.
"Life is raw and hurts. It is beautiful, gorgeous, and toe stubbing *f* bomb dropping all at the same time. I will never be enough. And, thank God. Thank God he's bigger than my potty mouth and taller than my shorter than short fuse of a temper. I hurt. I hurt others. Heaven knows how I have hurt others. So many I never meant to, but I don't know how to love on those who want to love on me most. God sees it all. Every shameful, failing, lost moment he has been a witness to. And, yet, he still has grace and love enough for me. Thank God. It has been such a day."
http://momastery.com/blog/2015/03/04/grace-good/
I was really, really afraid to post such an exposing, self shaming post. But, I did it anyway. And, I will probably do it again. I wanted to show the real and the raw. Facebook often times is scrolling through endless posts of perceived perfection. I'm not perfect. In fact, I'm coming to a place in my life that I am finally comfortable with my flaws. They are not my sum, but they are a part of my makeup. To deny that wouldn't serve anyone well.
I want to be upfront and honest. It has taken me a long time to get here. For so many years I was so concerned of what others were going to think, say, or think and say about me. Took a long time for me to finally realize the most freeing, most gratifying, profound thing ever. Are you ready for this?
They weren't thinking about me.
They weren't sitting back with a friend talking about me.
You know how I know that? Because they have their own lives. Lives of which they are probably just as concerned and occupied with what others are thinking about them. It is a vicious cycle, y'all. Vicious I tell you.
This is nothing new or profound to the most confident, happy, and comfy in their own skin people. But, to those like myself that found their own skin to be too different, too loud, too not like what we perceived to be socially acceptable from everyone else's, it's liberating. It is the set of keys to empowerment we've been searching for our entire adult lives. It sets us free from the ugly stuff and hangups such as insecurity and jealousy. It gives us freedom to be our authentic selves. The ones intended from the very beginning.
So, I took a big breath and wrote a post about *f* bombs and hurts and my short fuse of a temper. I also wrote about grace. The creator has given me grace. If he can extend it, be it to even me, a self admitted flawed and flailing, failing person, then who am I to deny it even to myself and others. Yeah, it really is that simple. Breathe in, give grace, accept grace. Repeat.
I wrote that post not just to empower myself, but others. I'm not fully confident in extending myself grace yet. But, I am working towards it every day and want to encourage others to do the same.
Life is raw and hurts. It is beautiful, gorgeous, and toe stubbing *f* bomb dropping all at the same time. I will never be enough. And, thank God.
I even ended the day with a post on Facebook about the kind of day it was. It was an empowering post for me. I acknowledged that the day wasn't stellar. I owned my failings and shortcomings. I included a link to Glennon Melton of Momastary's post Grace is Good Enough for Us, because she sees right to my bones. And, you know what? I felt better.
"Life is raw and hurts. It is beautiful, gorgeous, and toe stubbing *f* bomb dropping all at the same time. I will never be enough. And, thank God. Thank God he's bigger than my potty mouth and taller than my shorter than short fuse of a temper. I hurt. I hurt others. Heaven knows how I have hurt others. So many I never meant to, but I don't know how to love on those who want to love on me most. God sees it all. Every shameful, failing, lost moment he has been a witness to. And, yet, he still has grace and love enough for me. Thank God. It has been such a day."
http://momastery.com/blog/2015/03/04/grace-good/
I was really, really afraid to post such an exposing, self shaming post. But, I did it anyway. And, I will probably do it again. I wanted to show the real and the raw. Facebook often times is scrolling through endless posts of perceived perfection. I'm not perfect. In fact, I'm coming to a place in my life that I am finally comfortable with my flaws. They are not my sum, but they are a part of my makeup. To deny that wouldn't serve anyone well.
I want to be upfront and honest. It has taken me a long time to get here. For so many years I was so concerned of what others were going to think, say, or think and say about me. Took a long time for me to finally realize the most freeing, most gratifying, profound thing ever. Are you ready for this?
They weren't thinking about me.
They weren't sitting back with a friend talking about me.
You know how I know that? Because they have their own lives. Lives of which they are probably just as concerned and occupied with what others are thinking about them. It is a vicious cycle, y'all. Vicious I tell you.
This is nothing new or profound to the most confident, happy, and comfy in their own skin people. But, to those like myself that found their own skin to be too different, too loud, too not like what we perceived to be socially acceptable from everyone else's, it's liberating. It is the set of keys to empowerment we've been searching for our entire adult lives. It sets us free from the ugly stuff and hangups such as insecurity and jealousy. It gives us freedom to be our authentic selves. The ones intended from the very beginning.
So, I took a big breath and wrote a post about *f* bombs and hurts and my short fuse of a temper. I also wrote about grace. The creator has given me grace. If he can extend it, be it to even me, a self admitted flawed and flailing, failing person, then who am I to deny it even to myself and others. Yeah, it really is that simple. Breathe in, give grace, accept grace. Repeat.
I wrote that post not just to empower myself, but others. I'm not fully confident in extending myself grace yet. But, I am working towards it every day and want to encourage others to do the same.
Life is raw and hurts. It is beautiful, gorgeous, and toe stubbing *f* bomb dropping all at the same time. I will never be enough. And, thank God.